


Stolen Kisses

by AnnetheCatDetective



Series: Defiantverse [2]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-20
Updated: 2012-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-03 23:51:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are difficulties to sneaking around, when you're on opposite sides of a war...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sneaking Around

**Author's Note:**

> Direct sequel to Defiant Ones, still from Spy's POV. Features OCs (though OCs heavily similar to the nameless classes-- there are at points, multiples of said classes on each team, some of whom are named), so fair warning if this is a dealbreaker.
> 
> As with 'Defiant Ones', written some time ago, and there have been many little updates to the canon since.

“Looks like the next battle is going to be a big one.” He ran his fingers through my hair, somewhat idly, exhaling smoke towards the ceiling of his van.

I took my cigarette back from him. “Yes, probably. Our number seems to have tripled.”

“Sounds about right.”

It had been fairly small-time for the past week—nine men on each side. Then they sent reinforcements, though what that action bodes, I’m never sure... no matter how many men are on the battlefield, it is always much the same. One team wins, one team loses—perhaps there is a draw—and in the end, there are no real consequences.

The main problem is that when we have large numbers, I am not necessarily the most senior spy. Right now, that would be Spy—he has no other name, he has no history that any of the rest of us have ever been able to ascertain, he is perhaps slightly older, or slightly taller, than most of us, but he is also an imbecile. Still, he was the one who showed most of us the ropes, when we first signed on to this bizarre venture, so if he is present, he is in charge.

“What do I have to deal with?” I asked, my hand sliding across my Sniper’s chest. “Tell me you did not receive a large shipment of pyros.”

He chuckled. “Am I allowed to tell you?”

“What can it hurt?”

“Right now we got three heavies, two medics, a few-odd soldiers... think we just got the one Pyro. Got a bunch of bloody scouts running around. How about you?”

“There are two more spies. An extra demoman, two more soldiers... we have a second sniper now. You’ll want to be sure neither one of them can see you. But not much you have to worry about.”

“Be glad when we get back to having just the teams of nine again, I don’t mind telling you.” He sighed.

“You too, eh?”

“We got three heavies. You have to know which is which.” He leveled me with a serious look. “One’s not so bad—he’s not so good, but he’s not so bad. Seems like he’s in charge o’ the other two, whenever they’re all together discussin’ strategy. You pretty much leave him be and he’s got no problem with you. He plays chess with one of the medics, and that’s about as much as he interacts with anyone, unless you bother him. Then there’s one who’s always slapping folks on the back, talking about teamwork, you know, he’ll drink with you or joke around or whatever, an’ he’s a good guy, and I don’t think I ever seen anyone get on his bad side. It’s the third one... he’s new, far as I know—I mean, normally we just have the one anyway,”

I nodded. “It is the same over there.”

“Anyway, this third bloke’s a raving loony. He’ll belt you in the jaw soon as talk to you. Sooner, sometimes. The scouts are all confused any time they’re in the same room as one of the heavies, just in case, they get knocked around the most. Probably ‘cause they can’t stop running their mouths. And he don’t talk to nobody. Ever. Psychopath.”

“Well, just avoid him, I guess.”

“Yeah. I figure ol’ friendly’ll just come up to me, and the others won’t.” He stole my cigarette again, taking another drag before placing it between my lips.

“It’s easier to sneak around when there are fewer people.” I admitted. “I barely got past the other spies on my way out to see you. If I don’t go soon, I’ll have to worry about dodging the soldiers.”

“You say that like you couldn’t dodge soldiers in your sleep.” He snorted.

“Maybe. Still, I prefer not to have to worry.”

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.” He took the cigarette one last time, stubbing it out in the ashtray by his bed. “Be safe, yeah?”

“I will.” I kissed him.

I will never get tired of kissing him. I will never tire of his hand traveling up my back and curling around the nape of my neck, never tire of keeping a tight grip on his shoulders and feeling his chest bump against mine with every deep breath snatched between long liplocked moments.

It is only the third time I have made it out to his van for our little assignations, and every time he has watched me dress after, with that look of lazy, spent lust tinged with a fondness I could almost call love.

I don’t, not in words, not yet. Perhaps never. It seems too dangerous to.

When I am completely dressed, I kiss him one last time, light and fleeting, before I go.

 

\---/-/---

 

The battle is a bigger one, and I have been edged out of the intel-gathering, not by Spy-who-has-no-name, but by the third spy currently on our team. I do not know him, but I’ve known of him, and he has a name, Jean. He is slightly smaller, and perhaps faster. I do not know if he is any smarter, and I suspect he is not, but he is to get in and out, and Spy-who-has-no-name and I are to provide distractions, sap sentries, stab backs...

If Jean drops the briefcase, there are scouts scattered about the place ready to grab it and run, provided one of us is not nearby at the time. Then of course, there are the others, rushing in with guns blazing, or laying down cover fire, generally going about their jobs with less finesse and planning than my own class relies upon.

I take out a RED engineer and his sentry on my way to my Sniper’s roost. I shouldn’t... but even if I cared to play the game now that I suspect the same people are playing with both sides behind the scenes... It is not that I plan to distract him from his job; I have no qualms with watching him dispatch my teammates, I might even find watching him work enjoyable. I find watching him enjoyable in general. Mostly I just want to see him. To make sure he is all right. And to let him know that there is an angle he is vulnerable from. Traitorous, I know, but... I know where one of our snipers is set up, not the usual spot. Even with the respawn, I would rather he not get shot in the first place.

“Please tell me that’s you.” He tenses, hand hovering near the kukri.

“It’s me.” I uncloak. “He’s not focusing on you now, but there, between your nine and ten o’clock, is one of ours.”

He spared me a quick glance. “You sure you should be helping me out here?”

“Au contraire, I am certain I should not. I cannot help myself.”

I cloak again, sitting by his side in perfect invisibility.

“This is a bit weird.”

“Mm.” I reach out the little bit between us, my hand brushing his knee. “Perhaps.”

“No two ways about it, mate. Bloody weird.”

“Fair enough, then.”

He took a shot, chuckling softly to himself when it hit, and I de-cloaked when he turned to look at me, ducking down so that I would remain out-of-sight should either of BLU’s snipers look in.

“I take it you got one?”

“Scout.” He grinned. “Little buggers are hard to hit. Especially a good clean shot. He was just bending down to pick up the briefcase.”

I couldn’t help grinning back. “Oh. Poor Jean, he must have failed. Well, he’ll be fine in the end... I suspected I would have done the job better.”

“Jean?”

“Mm. One of our other spies.”

“You know his name?”

“I know most of their names. Not only the spies. Most of BLU team, at least anyone I have worked with. If they have a name on record—if they have a name at all—I probably know it. I know a few names on the RED team as well.”

“Y’ever learn mine?”

“No. Will you ever tell me?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged, looking through his scope again. “If I decide I like you enough.”

“You like me enough.” I smiled.

“Maybe.” He chuckled again.

There was a sound, from the ladder. I put a hand on his knee, squeezing hard this time. “Don’t move.”

“What—“

“Shh!”

Spy—he of the nameless, history-free variety—slunk in, a man-shaped puff of blue smoke moving at a good clip, and I was on my feet and stabbing him in the heart before he had the chance to stab my Sniper in the back.

“Damn...” My Sniper turned, jaw hanging open.

“Oui.”

“He saw you.”

I shook my head. “He would have been able to see me, even if I had been cloaked.”

“What are you going to do? He saw you. You stabbed him instead of me, and he saw it happen. Not like you can lie about it.”

“Yes I can.” I said firmly. “I was not cloaked. What he saw was a RED spy, disguised as a BLU spy, protecting you from being stabbed in the back, hoping that any BLU spy who happened upon the scene would pass him by without question.”

“... That’s a pretty good lie, actually.”

“Yes, I thought so.” I let out a shaky breath and reached for a cigarette. “It is not perfect, but it is as close as we can come, under the circumstances.”

“You should get out of here while you have the chance.”

“He will probably come back.”

“Deal with that when it happens.” He kissed me hastily. “Go.”

I went.


	2. They Don't Know

“YOU!”

I took a deep breath, rehearsed my lie one last time. “Pardon?”

“Collaborateur!” The other spy shook me by my lapels. “What was that about, hien? Explain yourself!”

“Please.” I sneered, removing his hands from my person, then smoothing my jacket. “I hardly feel as though I am the one who should be offering an explanation. You have just accosted me, after all.”

“Before! You killed me! I was about to stab that RED sniper in the back, and you, you—“

I forced a laugh, which did not sound too unnatural. “I killed you? To save an enemy sniper? Is it not more likely that one of RED’s spies disguised himself as me to do the job? Of all the reasons I might commit treason, the life of a sniper hardly rates as one, don’t you think? If it had been me, I would have stabbed him myself and been gone before you even arrived.”

He calmed, considering it, and after a while, decided himself. “D’accord. That... that makes much more sense. Besides, if it had been you... you would not have bested me.”

I rolled my eyes at his retreating back. I would not have bested him? For someone who is supposedly the epitome of what a BLU spy should be, the man is laughably bestable, really. And he has a terrible record with friendly fire, of which I am merely a part.

Still, no need to go announcing the fact.

 

\---/-/---

 

That night I did not try to see my Sniper. It was too dangerous, if this other spy is still suspicious of me, to try to go.

There was another battle the next day, during which I performed my duties admirably, and at the end of which I felt I had earned back as much of my teammates’ trust as I had ever had. That night I cloaked and snuck out to see my lover.

When he was not in his van, I felt a small cold knot in the pit of my stomach. It could have meant anything, though... it could have meant anything. I snuck through the RED base, slowly, slowly... It was not so different from our own, a fact which no longer seemed so strange to me. More rustic, yes, but not very different at all.

I found him in the RED infirmary, asleep or unconscious on one of the narrow little beds, and I made my way to him as quickly as I could while still making no noise, while still remaining invisible.

Both of the RED team’s current medics were there, one filling out paperwork while the other made last-minute rounds, looking at the few patients—a scout, a soldier, a demoman who was probably more drunk than he was injured, and of course, my Sniper.

The medic making the checks was slightly older, slightly harder somehow. He whistled softly to himself, from Tristan und Isolde, if I am not much mistaken, and when he was satisfied with the progress of his patients, he left.

The moment he did, the second medic collapsed at his desk, shaking. Curious, certainly, but all I wanted was for him to leave.

Instead, one of the RED heavies entered, and upon seeing the sobbing doctor, moved at what was quite an impressive speed for such a fat man. I flattened myself against the wall and prayed he wouldn’t run into me. I barely made it.

“Doktor, what is problem?”

“Nothing. Nothing, thank you, I am fine.” The Medic lied baldly, swallowing down sobs. Still, he was in no position to take notice of anything happening across the room, and the Heavy was entirely focused on him.

If I just stayed silent, they would never know I was here. They would leave soon.

“This is not fine.”

“... I do not like working with that man. Really, it is silly. I am being silly. Bitte, Heavy, forget all about it. I will in a minute.”

Funny. I didn’t know medics made members of their own class as uncomfortable as they make the rest of us. And perhaps a part of that is the fact that I still haven’t forgiven my own team’s Medic for sniggering at my third-degree burns the other week...

“You are sure?”

He’s sure, he’s sure, just go, you stupid fat man! Both of you just go and let me hold my lover’s hand in peace for just a minute!

“Ja, ja... it is just, it’s difficult. Running the infirmary at all tonight is difficult, after the damage the medigun took in battle today.”

Well, that is bad news. That would explain the patients lying unconscious in beds instead of being healed up and sent out with stern warnings and threats of invasive examinations.

“It will take some time to fix,” He continued sadly. “I have not yet asked our Engineer for the materials I need to make the repairs myself.”

“We go down and ask later. Now... what is problem with other doktor?”

“Please, don’t go trying to fix it,” The Medic chuckled weakly. “You’ll only go making his friend mad, you know, and then we will have to fix you both up with only one working medigun, and that is very inconvenient. Besides, it isn’t his fault. He just... reminds me, that is all.”

“Of what?”

If it wasn’t for the fact that it would lead to alarms being pulled and defenses being mounted... Still, I had the strongest urge to stab him in the back just to shut him up. I would have to take out the Medic as well, of course, and then I would not be able to hang around the infirmary... Well, they can’t talk forever, can they?

“I had to leave medical school, when I was young. First it was just to help out, at a small hospital, where they brought many injured soldiers. It was good experience, even though it was not really what I was interested in. But... but then a very important doctor was interested in my research! I was so proud... he took a very few of us only, and he thought my university research was interesting!”

Damn it, this is going to be a long story... I let my hand linger as near to my Sniper’s as I dared, and labored to breathe very softly, despite the irritated huffs that threatened to escape at every sign of their continued intent to linger here.

“I was not very... aware, you understand? Of anything outside of my work. And... well, twenty-five years ago, it was not a particularly good time to ask questions anyway. I was not good at working with children... He was, the doctor I interned under. You know, bringing sweets, patting their heads and, and they all wanted to be his favorites, but I was too awkward with the idea of working around children,”

The Heavy laughed. “I cannot imagine this. You and little children. Is funny thought.”

“So instead, I was to continue my own experiments. Back when I was doing research for my doctorate, there were volunteers, to be test subjects. You paid them a little when you could, of course, but either they were also students with a passion for the research, or they had... problems, and maybe you could help them as much as they were a help to you. Or you would agree to be in your friend’s control group, and he would do the same for you. I assumed it was like that. I assumed I was working with volunteers. Sick men who, for money, or—I thought they were all volunteers.”

“... Doktor?”

“They were men no different from me. One difference. That they had been caught, and I never was. Perhaps I should have known, I don’t... I don’t know. If it was just a question of the men being pressed into involuntary service, I might not be haunted by it. It’s best with these things sometimes to put them behind us, isn’t it? And volunteers would have been hard to come by. And the experiments were painful, naturally, they had to be, or—But I thought, they would look at me, and they would know. They would know that I had escaped their fate, not by any virtue of my own, but by luck and subterfuge and rigorous self-denial. And had anyone known... I would have been the lowest of the low. Worse than the gypsies, worse even than the mental defectives,”

My stomach twisted uncomfortably. I didn’t expect the fat man to follow the subtle hints with any accuracy, but then he smiled broadly and I wondered if he was perhaps smarter than he looks.

“Doktor! You are a communist?”

As the scouts would say, a swing and a miss.

“No.” The Medic laughed ruefully. “I am sorry to say that is not the case. I would dearly like to be able to say it was only that... I... I am a criminal. Against man and God. A twisted deviant. And when I managed to, to hide or to ignore this, and other men like me were rounded up and arrested, I tortured them in the name of science. And I keep thinking, they knew. They knew the whole time that I was one of them. And too many rounds of experiments came to nothing, they weren’t even worth it!”

“Still, important man thought your research was worth doing.”

“Yes. He turned out to be wrong. Oh, later! Later I developed the medigun, those experiments proved worthwhile, but... The early work that I did then, under him... all that had to be thrown out. The other medic reminds me of Josef. That’s all. Someone I worked with, if not too closely.”

“What happened to him?”

The Medic shrugged. “I never found out. I never asked. I moved as far away from the failed experiments and my own... my own horrible weakness as I could. Everyone did. So. You see. There is nothing wrong with the man, he merely reminds me of... of a past failure. Of every past failure.”

“This crime... this weakness you had then... you still have it now?”

“God help me, I do. If there was a way to cut it out of myself, I’d have done so by now. Believe me, I looked into it.”

“You do not seem weak to me.” The Heavy thumped the Medic on the back once and headed back towards the door. This time he did not pass my way. “Whatever it is, cannot be so bad.”

Finally, they both left. The door closed, and I held my Sniper’s hand and bent low to whisper in his ear. “Mon ami? Cher?”

He sighed softly and turned his face towards mine.

“Bien. It is me. I cannot stay. I wanted to see you.”

Another little sound, the barest twitch of movement, and I kissed his brow.

A thought occurred, and I rummaged through several infirmary drawers. Bandages, no. Surgical implements, no. Ah! Ah-ha. Medical grade lubricant. Might as well steal it from the other side—whoever they question, it won’t be me. I shall be long gone. And I’d rather think ahead to when he and I will be falling into bed together, than think too much more about him lying in this bed now.

I kissed him once more before leaving the infirmary.

There was music in the hallway as I stole away. Not Tristan und Isolde again, but something hymn-like and sad, and still very, very German.

“Mein Freud is mir genommen, die ich nit weiss bekommen, wo ich im Elend bin. Gross Leid muss ich jetzt tragen, das ich allein tu klagen, dem liebsten Buhlen mein.”

I assumed it was the formerly-sobbing Medic, and not the opera-whistler. And honestly, the implications of his half-confession to his teammate earlier did not surprise me. With those two, you could not surprise me either way.

Whether I share this in common with my own side’s Medic, I neither know nor care. I somehow doubt we would bond over the secret vice, and besides, it would never have been a vice in my country, in my lifetime, had we not been invaded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone wondered, the song which is *not* from Wagner's Tristan und Isolde is a snatch of 'Innsbruck, Ich Muss Dich Lassen', or 'Innsbruck, I Must Leave You'. It's lovely and slightly haunting. I used the end of the first verse and start of the second. In English, the lyrics would be "My joy from me has faded, I don't know how to find it, I am in sorrow's hands. I am burdened with great sorrow, which I can remedy only through the one dearest to me'. If you want to get technical, and I don't blame you, the song (and city) are Austrian, but it's absolutely beautiful and I couldn't not use it a bit.


	3. I Think We're Alone Now

The next night, he was not in the infirmary any longer, though the same demoman seemed to be passed out—either again or still, I couldn’t say.

I had to dodge the same Heavy, and this time a bottle behind me rattled dangerously on its shelf, and I hit the floor to avoid a spray of hypodermic needles.

“My apologies.” The medic on duty coughed, lowering his syringe gun. “It must have been nothing. I—I have been jumpy today.”

“Probably my fault. I sometimes knock over little things...”

I crawled out of the infirmary hoping they couldn’t hear my heart pounding. Last night I am there for ages and no one even suspects, tonight I am there for two seconds and I am nearly caught. The phrase ‘just about right’ comes to mind...

I made my way out behind the RED base to the parked camper van. The door is locked, but it is hardly an obstacle.

“If you’re not here to have sex with me, prepare to be ventilated.”

“You wound me.” I uncloaked and grinned at him. “I do hope the invitation is for me alone.”

He lowered his submachine gun. “You right?”

“Fine.” I sat on his bed, and after a moment he joined me. “But how about you? I was not overnight in the infirmary.”

“How’d you even—Wait, was that you? Figured it was one of those painkiller dreams. Are you completely mental?” He tapped the side of my head.

“Just wanted to see you.” I shrugged. “It is not as though anyone saw me.”

“Well... don’t start taking stupid risks. I mean, any more than it’s too late to prevent.” He rolled his eyes.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “My risks are well-calculated, and excellently safeguarded. Anyway, you never answered me.”

“I’m fine.” He shook his head.

“Fine?”

“Better than fine, even.” He finally gave in and kissed me back. “Yeah. Much better.”

“Good. Because I brought you something, if you’re really... really... all better...”

“Pressie? You shouldn’t have.” He quirked an eyebrow. “What could you possibly have—“

“Reach into my pocket. My jacket pocket. Filthy...”

He chuckled, and explored my trouser pockets anyway. “Well, as long as I’m in the neighbourhood... want to be thorough...”

“Do you want it or not?”

“I want it.” He grinned against my throat.

“Jacket pocket.”

“All right, all right, I—Oh. Oh.” He regarded the package for a moment. “Well.”

“I stole it while I was visiting you.”

“We have this in the infirmary?”

“Well, it has medical uses.” I maneuvered my way into his lap.

“... Right. Of course it does. That’s no fun, though.”

“No, I think we could find something better to do with it.” I nibbled at his ear. “Baise-moi...”

“You know I don’t...” He yanked at my balaclava, my tie, his hands still steady. I would have to fix that...

“I know.” I interrupted, grinding against his hard-on. “But you think it’s sexy as hell, don’t you?”

He got me halfway naked, his teeth scraping the skin as he kissed his way across my chest.

“Fuck. me.” I hissed, one hand fisting in his hair, the other shoving at his vest, until he gave in and stripped to the waist.

We tumbled our way to a horizontal position, undressed the rest of the way, his mouth still working to leave little bites and bruises across my torso, his hands still steady.

“Mean it?” He kissed my throat, my chin, my jaw.

“Why do you think I brought that? Yes I mean it.”

He fumbled with the lid. I smiled.

“What?”

“Getting overeager?”

“You...” He got the small jar open. “You like distracting me.”

“Mais oui.” I rolled over. “You like being distracted.”

“I hate being distracted.” He growled and nipped at the back of my neck, his body covering mine, his fingers working up into me. “I think you’re a bastard. I wish I didn’t love you.”

My heart was in my throat. “You don’t... ah, mean that...”

“Sometimes. Maybe. Dunno.”

He wrapped one arm around me, his hand stroking my cock as he slammed into me. It didn’t last long... with frottage, we had managed to keep going for a rather impressive time, with blowjobs we had managed not to embarrass ourselves, but with this...

He came first, naturallement, but stayed in me, his hand still working me, his lips and tongue and teeth at the back of my neck, kisses between whispered snatches of a truly filthy nature, and then we were both sweaty, sticky, and completely wrung out.

He lit two cigarettes as they dangled from his own lips, before passing one to me.

“So... that was... I mean, you... had fun, yeah?”

“Oui.” I sighed, blowing a smoke ring and watching out of the corner of my eye to see if he was impressed. It was a little hard to tell.

“’Cause, I’ve never... Well, to be perfectly honest, I suppose I’ve never done that at all. And I’ve never... you know, your side of things there.”

“I had fun.” I smiled. I blew out another smoke ring, and this time he noticed. “One of my many talents.”

“Wait, are you talking about sex or smoke rings?”

“I could be talking about both.” I shrugged. He slipped an arm around my shoulders.

“Right. So. That’s something we could do again sometime.”

“D’ac.”

He stubbed out his cigarette, took mine and placed it in the ashtray. “It’s a good thing no one ever sees you less than completely dressed.”

“You know, I wouldn’t be covered with bruises if somebody did not insist on biting me all the time.”

“Aw, I can’t help it. You’re delicious.”

“Tease.”

“You are.” He nibbled on my lip. “’S why I bite you. Can’t help myself.”

“So...” I bit back. “Don’t. Help yourself.”

“I won’t then.” He nipped at my earlobe.

“Good.” I found the pulse at his throat and let my teeth skim over it. “I’m half-tempted, you know...”

“Don’t.” He tugged me back. “Everyone’d see. There’s no good answer I can give...”

“I know. I only said half-tempted.” I kissed the spot gently, then slid down his body to leave a dark red love-bite at his hip. “... There.”

“You know, if you want to stay down there a little longer, I won’t complain...”

“Soon, isn’t it?” I sat up.

“Maybe. We could still try.”

I shook my head. “I should be going, anyway. You know how it is...”

He sat as well, one hand cupping the back of my head to pull me into a tender kiss. “I know.”

“There will always be a next time. We can pretend again... that someday it will all be over.”

“Sure.” He took a drag from my cigarette and passed it to me.

I did the same before extinguishing it, alongside his own.

 

\---/-/---

 

I visited him again during the next battle. Stupid, stupid, stupid, but if it was a different sniper in his usual nest, I could always dispatch of him, and if it was my Sniper...

“We have got to stop meeting like this.”

I shrugged, putting my knife away. “Probably.”

He pulled me into a hard kiss, and it was too soon that he was back to surveying the field through his scope.

“You oughta get out while you can... Can’t risk another episode like before, only so many times you can lie and say it wasn’t you.”

“I know... believe me, I know. I know I shouldn’t even come, but I am sick, I am crazy, with not being able to see you, except for tiny little snatches of time when everyone is asleep.”

He took a shot, lined up another, fired. “No one said it was ideal. Whole thing’s dangerous, but you can’t get stupid about it.”

“I tell myself that, and then...” I sighed. “This was a mistake.”

“... You mean visiting me here and now, right?” He lowered his rifle and leaned away from the window.

“What? Yes! Of course that is what I mean, why would I—Why would you— You are not a mistake to me. Maybe I should think so, maybe it would be better for both of us, but I am selfish and stupid enough to say that I do not consider you to be a mistake.”

“Well... be exactly stupid enough to not think I’m a mistake, but don’t be stupid enough to come here in the middle of a battle.”

“I’m not sure I can make that promise. Ever since we had to come back... the fighting doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine why it ever did, except we were paid for it.”

“Not now...” He said warningly, positioning himself at the window again, taking aim at the fracas below.

“You matter.” I shrugged. “Besides, there’s something just a little romantic about it, isn’t there? The middle of a war zone, bullets flying, you in my arms...”

“Get going.”

I took his hat, dropping a kiss to the back of his head before replacing it. “I’m gone.”

 

\---/-/---

 

“We need to talk.”

I regarded the sniper coolly. He was one of ours, occasionally a part of the same team as myself, though not always. He did not interact much with the team, though he seemed to be friendlier with them than I was. At least, they were friendlier with him than they were with me. His last name was Stone, he was in his early thirties, and he was regarding me with a very serious stare.

“Do we now?”

“We do, mate.” He grabbed my arm, yanking me into a little-used corridor. “I had a shot today I didn’t take, because I saw you, and I figured you had it covered.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I glance past and find you—find you pashing on my opposite number!” He hissed.

“Again, I beg your pardon?”

“Kissing him!”

Oh.

Oh no.

I slapped a hand over his mouth. “Yes, yes, very well, don’t—don’t say it! You saw this?”

“From across the way, yeah.” He shoved me off. “I expected you’d have stabbed him in the back like the dirty sneak you are, then booked it, but instead I look over, just for a second, and you’re practically massagin’ his tonsils!”

“I said don’t—Please!—Just—It isn’t what you think.”

“Really? Explain to me how you weren’t making out with the enemy back there. I’d like to hear that.”

“Don’t shoot him. I mean, next time, don’t—I need you to understand, it isn’t—He gave me information.”

“... What?”

“About the additional men RED received, around the same time you came in. The numbers are the same, but the classes are different. He... he told me what to expect.”

“Why didn’t I hear about it?”

“It was... My information was incomplete. I did not report.”

“And you’re just, what? Whoring yourself out for the rest of it?”

“I should have expected you wouldn’t understand.” I turned away. “Filthy bushman.”

“Excuse me, pal,” He grabbed my arm again. “Last I checked, that bloke you were jumping isn’t much different, except for being the enemy. So you can drop your superior act with me.”

“He is different.” I snapped.

“You... you have feelings for him.” He sneered. “I never thought I’d see the day. What else you give him in return for this information? What does RED know about us?”

“It doesn’t concern you.”

“You bet it concerns me, if you’re double-crossing us! I may not care much about the big picture, but I care about doing my job, and I care about not being sold out by a dirty, rotten, no-count spy!”

“Now, now,” For the first time I noticed the cloaked spy sneaking up behind him, one of ours, the Just-Spy. “That isn’t a very nice thing to say.”

“Jeez!” Stone whirled around, releasing my arm. “Give me a heart attack, why don’t ya? What are you doing skulking around?”

“My job. What is the matter here?”

Merde.

I don’t think he is as smart as me, but he is not stupid. He can put two and two together.

“One of your spies is a traitor.” Stone jerked his head towards me, arms folding over his chest. “I saw him. With the enemy sniper.”

“... Are you sure?” The other spy looked me over, measuring.

“I’m sure. He didn’t even deny it.”

“They were talking?”

“I only wish they were just talking, if I kept my scope on ‘em I bet I could’ve caught a real show!”

“That is not what happened!” I hissed, punching his arm.

“But you didn’t deny you were the one kissing him.”

The expression that passed over my fellow spy’s face was unreadable. There was a note of shock, and one of anger, but there was something else that I could not unravel. “You were kissing?”

“I told him,” I indicated Stone. “I was receiving information on the enemy’s movements, and if I carry on this way, I could bring back something useful. Of course, you could do something stupid to ruin the trust I have managed to build up, and then I will get nothing. But play it how you see fit.”

“The trust you built up by stabbing me?”

And he comes up with four... “Yes. That would be the trust.”

“... For now, I will be silent. As will our Sniper friend. But I will go to our employers if I feel your allegiance has shifted. So I hope for your sake you find some useful information soon...”

“I will.”

He draped an arm across my shoulders in a gross parody of friendliness, his smile conspiratorial and sharp, flickering between myself and Stone. “Tell me, though... what is he like. Oh, come now, don’t be prudish... you can’t tell me you haven’t... enjoyed your mark?”

I felt sick. My Sniper was not a mark. I had no intention of betraying him. What I would do, I did not know, and I would have to do something, but...

“Shut up.” Rescue came from unexpected quarters, indeed, as Stone shoved the other spy away from me. “Don’t even think it, right?”

“If you say so.” He shrugged and slipped away into the shadows.

“Merci.” I looked at the floor. I got the feeling Stone did the same.

“Whatever. I just didn’t want to hear it.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, you know. I meant what I said... that he is different. I don’t even look at you, so... for what that is worth.”

“Yeah, right, good to know. You really getting intel?”

“A little.”

“You really gonna hand it over?”

“Of course.” I lied.

He snorted. “Yeah, whatever. Hope your spy pals are more gullible than I am, mate.”


	4. No Such Thing As Safe Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (the chapter wherein the porn first occurs)

This time as I slipped out, I felt myself being watched. It made my skin crawl, and I hurried to be across the compound, around the back of the RED fort, and out of the other spy’s sight.

I hesitated outside the camper, still cloaked. There was no covering this up, if we were compromised, he needed to know. Still, the idea of having to tell him... of having to admit that my hubris had put us both in danger...

He opened the door before I did, stepping out into the evening air and stretching. I watched him for a while without announcing myself, his open shirt and lean muscles, the lines of his body as he stretched, then relaxed, leaning against his van.

“I can smell you, y’know.” He murmured. “Blind spot, you’re okay.”

I let out a sigh and uncloaked, coming to stand close beside him. “You were right, and I was wrong.”

“Mm-hm?” He tugged me even nearer, nuzzling the side of my neck and breathing in deep. “Stars’re coming out... if you wanna stay out here and enjoy it for a minute.”

“This is serious. I—I have been rash, in coming to see you. I honestly believed no one would find out! I was always careful, invisible! Except... except for that moment, in the window. When our sniper looked across and saw us.”

“... Saw us.” His expression was completely flat.

“Yes. Saw us. Saw us very much not killing each other. He only saw us kiss, cher.”

“Oh, only that!”

“Well, it could have been worse!”

“What’s going to happen, then?”

“Give me something I can tell them. Anything. Information. They need to believe that you are a double agent. And that I am not. And if anyone from your side discovers us, I will do the same. But... if I can’t make this—Cher, they could take me away. And if that happens, it could be my life. It could be worse. And... and that woman, she at least is playing both sides. If she knew, she would tell your superiors as well. And I could not live with myself if something happened to you because of me. Because I was a fool.”

“Way you’re talking, you probably won’t have to.” He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t have information.”

“Just a list, then, of who you have. It’s barely more than you told me already. It could be enough to get them off my back.”

“Them? How many people know?”

“Just the sniper, and another one of the spies. For now, they will not say anything. But that will only last if I can prove myself.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do. Hardly seems like it’d be that useful. ‘Sides, fought a couple times since we got new people in, your lot must already know what we have and don’t have.”

“It is hard to make a proper count during the heat of battle.” I shrugged. “It is something. A small something is all I want, I—I don’t want you to have to do anything you... anything you would really... I never wanted to make a traitor of you.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Not the best romantic evening, I’m afraid.” I sighed.

“Stars’re still out.” He put his arm around me and we leaned against the van once more. They were pale red, tiny and glittering... and so many of them, dotting the blue swirl of the milky way as it wound a path through the inky darkness above the desert.

“I was such a fool...”

“Naw. Every second was worth it.”

“What if we lose this? Is it still worth it then?”

“We won’t. We’ll be more careful. I’ll make up a list of everyone we’ve got. You’ll visit me one more time, and make sure your little friends know about it. You’ll tell ‘em we fought, that I thought better of the whole thing. That it’s over.”

“They will watch me too closely to believe it... the other spy will. When I come to see you, he will know. He saw me leave tonight. I... There wasn’t much point in not coming, he knew too much anyway.”

“We’ll figure something out, then. Now shut up and look at the bloody stars.”

I did, surprised when he dropped to his knees in front of me. “O-out here?”

“Shh...” He opened my fly. “Blind spot, remember? Everyone’s asleep, and even if they’re not, they’re not coming out of the base. Can’t see behind the van from the windows.”

“Now... now who is being reckless?” I panted. It was silly to protest, of course... I started responding the moment I knew what he planned.

“Well, it’s like I told you, isn’t it?” He murmured, running his hands up my thighs. “I can’t help myself. You... are delicious...”

He was slow and teasing, his tongue sliding along the underside of my cock, his hands on my hips and the van at my back keeping me upright, and every so often he would stop and grin at me, smug and self-satisfied when all I could do was whine and gasp.

Finally he took me in deep and let me finish, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and sitting back on his heels. Still smug.

“You...” I sighed. “You crazy... After everything we have to worry about...”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing better, is there? Outside...” He nuzzled my stomach as he fixed my fly. “Clean air. Starlight. Mindblowing sex.”

“... I didn’t say it was mindblowing.”

“Oh, please.” He snorted, rising. “It was. You and I both know it was.”

“It was.” I admitted. “No one can see this spot from your base?”

“Nah. None of them ever bother me out here anyway.” He took my hand, pressing it against his own hard-on. “Now... how’s about you do a little something for me while we’re here?”

“Cher, you are free to have me any way you want me, save one, and that is on my knees in the dirt.”

He laughed. “Not even necessary... just... leave the gloves on?”

I blinked. “All you want is—“

“All I want. Gloves on.”

“You really are filthy...” I unzipped him.

“Maybe,” He kissed me. I tasted myself on him as his tongue thrust into my mouth.

Even through the leather glove I could feel how hot he was in my grip. When the kiss broke, I blew across his ear. “Je veux lecher ton foutre... tu bander comme un tigre... et je veux... je veux...”

“Yeah...” He had one hand over mine, guiding me, the other cupping the back of my head. “Like that...”

“Baise-moi... donne-moi ton foutre... now, now... come on, bebe...”

He came with harsh ragged breaths muffled against my shoulder, and once his eyes were on me again, I licked my gloved hand clean, eyes half-lidded, chuckling at his resulting groan.

“You liked that.”

“Kind of the point. You plan on translating any of that dirty-talk for me?”

I blushed. “... No.”

“I mean, not that I don’t like hearing it anyway.” He zipped up and led me inside. “Guess I should make up that list... could wind up saving both our skins.”

“Yes. It could.” I sighed. I hadn’t wanted to think about that. Well, of course we hadn’t wanted it to be an issue. “Doing that out-of-doors is probably one of those things we shouldn’t do anymore, you know.”

“Think you could stay cloaked long enough?” He grinned at me.

I flopped down on his bed. “... Maybe. The point is moot, you would look even more like an unbalanced maniac, and I... Well, I like to avoid getting my suit dirty,”

“Oh, boo-hoo.”

“It cost more than my gun!”

“Bet it didn’t cost more than mine.”

“Vas t’faire enculer ton fusil.” I grumbled.

“Share with the rest of the class?”

“I said, then your rifle can fuck your ass!”

“Touchy.”

“My life is coming apart here.”

“Mine, too, in case you hadn’t noticed.” He handed me a sheet of paper. “Here’s that list, by the way. The list I have to provide to you, not the other way around, so don’t you take this out on me, ‘cause I’m not the one molesting you on the job!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Me too, I guess.”

“You know I don’t mean it...” I touched his arm.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“What if we did it standing up?” I traced my fingers along a wrinkle in his sleeve. “I mean, any passersby would still think you were some sort of deranged sex lunatic humping your van, but I would let you take me standing... outside... cloaked... against the side of your van... if you want to...”

“Probably won’t. Think we’re trying to be less stupid, anyway.”

“Cher? You’re not mad?” I nuzzled the back of his neck and he sighed.

“Not at you.”

“I wasn’t mad at you, either. Mad, yes, but... I shouldn’t have—It was inappropriate. You’re not the one I’d like to murder right about now.”

“I’m not mad at you.” He turned around, loosened my tie. “Though if we shouted at each other, we should probably have make-up sex. Think it’s a rule somewhere.”

“I would hate to break a rule... it might be important.” I kissed him. “Do you think you can get it up again?”

“I know I can.” He unbuttoned my shirt. “Might help if you were naked.”

I pushed his vest down off his shoulders. “We should make it fast... so I can get back...”

He hummed softly, a noncommittal sound, and kissed the fading bruises from past love-bites. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, would have raked my nails down his back, but that would mean taking off the gloves, and apparently that is something I should avoid doing...

It was fast, due less to the necessity of haste, and more to the flesh being weaker than the spirit was willing, but we didn’t have time to wait, and one round of bad sex was still better than none at all. It probably wouldn’t be the only time we would have to settle, it’s amazing we’ve kept things as good as they’ve been between us with all things to be considered.

\---/-/---

 

“Is this the intel?”

I jumped, swearing. The bastard Spy just smirked.

“You... you should have gone to bed...”

“I was waiting for this.” He snatched the paper from me. “You smell like him, you know.”

“Shut up.” I brushed him off. “What would you know about it?”

“Was it good?”

“I got you what you wanted, didn’t I?”

“This?” He waved the list. “This is not much.”

“There is more. Right now, however, I would like a hot shower and a good night’s sleep. For the rest, you can arrange a meeting.”

More? Where did that come from? I can’t ask for more, I already hate myself for this, I...

I do have more. The Announcer. The whole fiasco after escaping through the desert. I will have to find a way to frame it, but I have it, I have something that will surprise that smug son of a whore!


	5. ... When It Comes to Loving You

“Gentlemen.” I addressed the men assembled at the long table. A couple who could not get chairs stood against the wall. Some were interested, others bored. It was exactly like any other meeting, and I did my best to summon up the same unshakeable self-confidence that educating the dull-eyed masses usually instilled in me.

“Get on with it, man.” One scout snorted, tapping his bat against the floor. “Why you gotta draw everything out? We’re here already, let’s hear the freaking news.”

“First,” I turned to the Engineer seated near the head of the table. “Have you done as I instructed?”

“Well, yeah. Not sure why it’s necessary, but everything’s disabled. No cameras, no microphones, nothing gets in or out of this room except us.”

“Excellent. Gentlemen, we have a serious problem.”

“Get to the point!”

“Scout’s right, the more time you eat up being dramatic, the less time we have to plan out our— our plans!”

I sighed. “Our problem is the Announcer.”

“What, the magic voice chick? What’s the big problem?”

“She is not what she appears.” I coughed. “What she seems. The REDs hear the same voice, they receive the same encouragement. She is not on our side.”

“Well is she on their side?”

“... This is also doubtful. After all, she is no less pleased when we are the victors. No, the most likely truth, as incredible as it seems, is that she is on no one’s side. Or worse—that there are no sides!”

Whispers ran around the room like a shockwave.

“No sides?” Soldier thundered, one fist hitting the table. “That’s ridiculous! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! We are at WAR, son! If there weren’t sides, then we wouldn’t have anyone to be at war WITH!”

“I have been attempting to put together a suitable hypothesis.” I rubbed at my temple. “Based on what I have gathered, from my own reconnaissance, and from the information I have received from a RED sniper.”

More hushed whispers, some derogatory, most surprised.

“As my fellow spy knows,” I gestured to him briefly and avoided looking at Stone. “I have been attempting to form a... beneficial relationship, with one of our enemies. One who has been uninterested in his team’s victory. It has been difficult... I am aware that I am not a trustworthy man. And he has his professional ethics to think of. But between the few memories I have recovered from the mission you recall I was sent away on, and the few pieces of information he has been willing to give up, well, gentlemen, it paints an interesting picture.”

“Tsch, snipers.” The impatient scout leaned back against the wall, dropping his bat. “Those guys are freakin’ weird.”

Stone, standing right next to the boy, merely glared silently at him.

“I’m just saying!” He skittered away a few steps. “Why’s he helping us? Cause you guys, you don’t even like working with your own team, why bother switching sides?”

“Perhaps it is precisely because he has no particular bond with his own team that he has been willing to cooperate.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, or maybe it’s ‘cause of what he’s getting in return.” Stone snorted, rolling his eyes.

I twitched, suppressing thoughts of homicide. The whispers were back in full force, as well as a few shouts.

“WHAT?” Soldier nearly ruptured my eardrum. “What exactly is he getting from us?”

“He is getting nothing from ‘us’. Rest assured, our intelligence is as safe as it has ever been.”

“Well maybe I don’t believe you!”

“It is not our intelligence the other spy barters away.” My fellow spy smirked, sauntering up to the head of the table and sliding into my place. “Were that the case, he would have been taken care of long before things reached this point.”

Long before? I crossed my arms and bit my tongue. Long before! He has not even known for more than a couple of days!

“What is it, then? Supplies? Is it our supplies? Someone go check on our supplies!”

“It is sex.”

I could have killed him. I very much wanted to kill him. It would look bad in front of the others, but then again, in front of most of them, how much worse can I look?

“Oh, geez...” Stone buried his face in one hand. “You’re gonna come out and say it?”

“Sex with who?” The scout blinked. Almost comically stupid, that one.

“I think he means sex with the spy.” Our usual medic sounded almost nonplussed. In the back of the room, there was some elbowing and chuckling.

“Fils de pute!” I hissed, shoving the other spy out of the limelight. “Gentlemen, order, please!”

“Order? ORDER? YOU NEED SOME ORDER!”

“Oh, shut up.” A demoman pushed Soldier back into his seat. “It got us the intel, didn’t it?”

“Man made a sacrifice for us.” The Engineer nodded, but he still moved his chair back from me by a few centimeters. “I mean... can’t be fun.”

“Rrh crhhd br krrnrh fhh.”

“I know, right?” The scout laughed. “Totally gross. Fag.”

“Thrsh nrh—Nrvrmurhh.”

“Well, this is spiraling out of control nicely.” Stone stepped up to the front of the room and shoved both of us. “Look, are we going to do something about this or what? We don’t know whose side the Announcer is on, we don’t know if we can trust anything she says to us, and we don’t know what’s really behind any of this war. Now the way I see it, we’ve still got jobs to do, and we’re being paid to do ‘em—“

“Hey, if the RED sniper is doing it with a guy, does that mean you’re a fag, too? I just always wondered how that works... ‘cause, they seem a lot like us except they’re totally the bad guys. But if he’s all gay and—“

Stone fixed the scout with a murderous look. “No. It don’t mean that. They’re not like us, they just...”

“Look exactly like us?” The demoman lifted one eyebrow.

“And do the same jobs.” The Engineer nodded.

“That don’t make ‘em like us! Not... not in any way that counts!”

“Quelle dommage.” The other spy shrugged, and I followed his line of sight down to Stone’s ass.

“Really?” I whispered, glaring at him. “You ruined my life for this? That is petty, even for you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Anyway, boy, you better watch yourself.” Stone glared. “Because if I hear one more word out of you, you’re going to be waking up in the resupply chamber an awful lot tomorrow.”

“Hey, you can’t do that! I’m on your side!”

“We are getting away from the point.” I said. “What do we intend to do about the Announcer?”

“Nothing.” Stone shook his head. “For now. Later... well, we’ll see how things progress. Just, keep fighting the REDs, but everyone remember, you can’t trust her. You can’t trust anyone outside this room.”

“Can’t trust all the people in it.” Soldier mumbled darkly. I’m glad he can’t tell us apart. Either I won’t be harassed overmuch, or I can take solace in the fact that the other spy will be suffering the same.

“Tonight I plan to see what other information I can gather, about RED’s movements, their strategies for the next battle, any technological developments they may have that we do not—although that is unlikely, as they are supplied by Mann, the same as we. They receive their supplies on the same basic schedule, they are matched so evenly to us that frankly, gentlemen, we should have seen it before now, that we are all being played somehow. For all we know, Mann is behind it. Perhaps we are a—a testing ground, for new products. Perhaps ... Who knows. Tomorrow morning I shall brief you again.”

“Yeah, after you let that enemy sniper into your briefs, right?” The scout chuckled.

“Remember how our own sniper intimated you might be waking up in the resupply room more often than usual?” I whispered. “I think this will turn out to be true.”

He gulped, audibly, and I smiled.

 

\---/-/---

 

“Sniper?” I slipped into the van. He was on the bed, cleaning his knife, and he set it aside when he saw me.

“How’d it go?”

“Hopefully they trust me. That bastard on my team told them... told them we were sleeping together. He is jealous.”

“What?” He grabbed a fistful of bedsheets, knuckles white. “I’ll kill him. He told your whole team that I was passing secrets to you ‘cause we were going at it? Because he wants you for himself?”

“No, nothing like that. I’m flattered, but that’s not it at all.” I sat beside him. “Not jealous of either one of us, jealous... jealous of the two of us for being together. I think, the man he wants is unavailable to him. It’s stupid and petty, but now everyone looks at me like I am the pariah. Which I suppose is not so different from before. But they seem to trust... they seem to trust that I am not betraying them. And now they know that the same woman makes the announcements to both sides. Whatever that means... Some seeds are planted, anyway. The Announcer, the fact that we always have nearly even numbers, even supplies, even equipment. We practically wear the same uniforms, the only thing different is color! I think now they may start to share some of my doubt about the whole situation.”

“Think that’ll do us any good?”

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “It’s something. So...”

“So.”

“After tonight, we... we are having our ‘fight’?”

“That’s what we agreed on.” He nodded.

“You should hit me.”

“What?”

“If I hold tomorrow morning’s briefing with a black eye, it will lend verisimilitude to my story. That you no longer wish to be a part of the arrangement, that I can not pry any more information from you. Otherwise, the other spy at least will suspect...”

“I’m not going to hit you.” He shook his head. “I can’t, okay? I don’t think I can. Just... don’t ask me.”

“I’ll think of something, then.”

“After tonight it could be a long while before it’s safe for us to see each other...”

I pulled my balaclava off. “It never really was safe, was it?”

He kissed my cheek, several times, around the ridge of one eye, to my temple. “Shh... nothing is. Doesn’t even matter now. We got tonight, don’t we? Now c’mere and give me something to remember you by, yeah...”

I crawled into his lap, nipping at his lower lip and working his shirt open. “Lie to me.”

“We’ll be fine.”

“Some more.”

“We’ll get out of this whole bloody mess someday. Retire.”

“More.”

“Together.” He kissed me back, desperately. “We’ll get a little house. In the countryside. Somewhere south of Paris and north of Vichy.”

“You remembered...”

“Yeah. We’ll get a dog.”

“Non.” I shook my head. “I... I am a cat person.”

“Fine, then.” He growled, yanked at my tie, scattered several of my shirt buttons. “We’ll get a cat. We’ll get two. We’ll name them Pierre and Alice. We’ll be so far out in the countryside... I’ll fuck you every day, you’ll scream so loud you’d wake the dead, we won’t have any neighbours, no one’ll hear, just you and me, and it’ll be good, it’ll be, everything’ll be...”

“Stop,” I kissed him, slumped against him. “No more... it’s too... We can never have any of that, can we?”

“You asked me to lie to you.”

“I know.”

“I’d like to try it. What we did last time. Only with you... you know. And me... well, you know.”

“They know where I am.” I murmured, undressing him the rest of the way. “I don’t have to worry about getting back early, as long as I make my way back to the BLU base without being seen. If we have only tonight, why not do it all?”

“Now that is ambitious.”

“I want to take everything from this that I can. It’s too soon and things are too much, and I just want...”

“Yeah.” He brushed the hair back from my forehead.

“Lie back.” I stripped out of the last of my things and knelt by his bed, between his legs dangling over the edge.

Only after I had sucked him off with every ounce of skill and enthusiasm I possessed, did I prepare him to be penetrated. And when we were both on the bed, he on his back with his legs up over my shoulders and me sunk deep within him, I placed my lips by his ear.

I had nothing left to lose.

“Je t’aime,” I murmured. “J’adore, j’adore...”

“That one,” He smiled somewhat weakly. “That one I know.”


	6. I Know This Is Goodbye

He was pounding into me, hard, with his second wind, when the door to the camper flew open.

“Hey! There’s a poker game going on back at the base and Engie told me to come ask you if you wanted to—FUCK!”

“He already is.” I sighed, as my Sniper extracted himself from me and wriggled into his trousers, throwing a blanket over me. I slipped my balaclava back on before turning to face our interruption.

“Don’t run off. Would you—Would you get in here for a minute?”

“No way, man!” The little RED scout held his bat out protectively, hands shaking. “Is that... Holy FUCK! Is that an enemy spy?”

“Just get in. I’ll explain everything.”

“This is just wonderful.” I rolled my eyes, fumbling for a cigarette. I lit it and took a deep drag. No matter what I was feeling, the little enfant terrible was not going to see my hands shake. The boy was still holding his bat between us. “I was wondering how my life was going to get any worse.”

“I’ll handle this.” My Sniper hissed.

“He is a scout, you think he will keep his mouth shut?”

“He’ll keep his mouth shut.” He turned back to the scout. “This is really only... ah, only partly what it looks like.”

“It looks really gay.”

“Oh. Well.” My Sniper shrugged. “Reckon you’re too much of a kid to understand. I mean, someday your balls will probably drop and you’ll realize a man has needs, but I guess for now—“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I am a man, okay? I totally understand... needs and shit. But he’s a guy!”

“Well, yeah. You seen any women around here?”

“Oh. Uh, no. No, I guess not. But he’s a spy!”

“Yeah. Caught him skulking around outside of any kind of fight.” He lied smoothly. “Figured maybe he wanted to get the drop on us while we were off the clock, so I got the drop on him.”

“I am right here.” I kicked him gently.

“What do you want me to tell him?”

“Fine.”

“We made a deal. I wouldn’t tie him up and hand him over to our medics, in return for a little... gratification.”

“But he’s the enemy!”

“What are you, stupid?” He cuffed the boy lightly, upside the head. “You think I’m going to sleep with a bloke I gotta work with every day? That’s... that’s just not right! That’t be humiliating. This, at least, no one was supposed to find out about. Just a harmless piece of fun, and no one has to get sliced open. Of course, now you walked in, so...”

“I held up my end of the bargain.” I smiled. “You could always volunteer the scout here for some elective surgery.”

“No way, man! I—I won’t say anything! It’s... it’s not really queer, right? I mean, ‘cause...”

“Yeah. No worries. It’s just one of those things that has to happen sometimes. What with the war an’ all, and no women around.” He shrugged. “Get back inside, tell ‘em I won’t be in on this game, an’ for Pete’s sake, sporto, if you ever think it’s in the least bit possible this van is being used for the naughty, do not go throwing the bloody door open.”

“Y-yeah. Right. Sure! You promise you’re not really a fag, though, ‘cause I’m supposed to turn you in if you are, we have some stupid moral hygiene thing going on and I got deputized, and I haven’t had anyone to turn in for anything, and I guess that’s good, but—“

“Does he ever shut up?” I rolled my eyes.

“You know what they’re like.” My Sniper shrugged. “Kids. Same all over. What moral hygiene thing?”

“I dunno. Soldier’s dumb idea, not mine. He said we’d probably win this stupid war if we all had some, and the other team didn’t. Hey, BLU guy! Does your side have, um, moral hygiene?”

I raised one eyebrow. “Obviously not, boy. Congratulations. Why don’t you go tell your soldier the other side is full of the sneaky queers.”

He blinked at me. “You know what... I don’t think you’re any worse than the spy we already got over here.”

“Probably not.” I took in a lungful of smoke, blew it out again. “Except, of course, that I am paid to kill you.”

“Right. Well, I’ll be going now. I have a poker game to win, anyway. So don’t even come around our base anymore unless you like getting fucked in the ass!”

He ran off, and my Sniper locked the back door of the camper. I burst out laughing.

“What is so funny?”

“Well, I do like getting fucked in the ass. As he so charmingly put it. You lied well. I must be rubbing off on you.”

“Well, I think you’ve rubbed off on me once or twice before.” He undressed once more and climbed into bed. “Stupid kid. Stupid midnight poker game. Stupid... stupid... Stupid me, not locking the van. I... I love you, hey?”

“Yes?”

“I guess I didn’t say, earlier. I mean, I didn’t want you to think I was just saying it back. I mean it, though.”

“I believe you.” I cuddled into him, one hand traveling over his body, telegraphing my intent. “Where were we? Before we were so rudely interrupted...”

“I love you.” He whispered, kissing me, rolling me onto my back and laying atop me.

“I’m glad to know it. And if you love me as I love you, then... then also, I am sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Everything that’s happened... at least for your part, no one will catch me around here for a good long time, hien? Just... I feel like I could die from it, you know?”

“... Yeah. Reckon. Wouldn’t have put it so dramatic-like, but...”

“Well, you know, the French take love seriously.” I smiled, nipping at his jaw. “It’s our national sport.”

“Oh is it, now?”

“As far as you know.” I shrugged, pulled his hips down against mine.

“Huh. Think ours is probably footy. Maybe cricket.”

“I win, then.”

“You win what?”

“I have never played cricket. But you love me. So. I win.”

“I could teach you.” He smirked. It fell in slow motion. “Except I won’t, will I? Just as well, don’t think I’m any good at it, but... Damn. I wanted to. I wanted that house. I even wanted your bloody cats, and we don’t get any of it.”

“Tonight, for once, we have time, you know... if you want to try again. Now that we won’t be bothered. You could forget what we don’t get to have, just for a minute.”

He kissed me softly. “’s all right. Mood’s kind of gone.”

I rolled my hips again. “Is it?”

“Well... maybe not.”

We kissed again, deeply, as he thrust against me, as I held onto him and met every little movement with one of my own. I went ahead and left a hickey on his throat, and he put thumb-sized bruises in the indents of my hips. Despite my words about forgetting for a minute, when I came, I was thinking about sharing that house in the countryside.

“Don’t go yet...” He panted, moving off me just a little, fishing my cigarette out of his ashtray. “Still night.”

I nodded and split the cigarette with him, lying against his side.

“You can sleep a little, before you have to go.” He offered. “I’ll wake you when it’s still dark out.”

“I can’t sleep.” I shook my head. “Don’t let me stop you, though.”

“Nah. You’re right, yeah? I... I can’t, either. Too much to worry about, maybe. Too much to have to remember.”

I kissed his chest, over his heart. “I can still stay. For a little. Alack, there lies more peril in thine eyes...”

“What’s that?”

I shrugged. “Shakespeare, I think. It’s silly... I’ve been afraid of stupid things, you know, and not worried enough about the things that came back to bite us.”

“Enough of that to go around, mate.”

“Love is being stupid together.” I chuckled. “Valery, that one. Which is perhaps better than Shakespeare, if only because Valery was one of ours.”

“Your French poet I never heard of is not better than William Shakespeare just because he’s French.”

“It is a very good quote, though. Apt.”

“If you say so.”

“I could come up with more.” I offered.

“Please, don’t.”

I kissed his shoulder. “Come on.”

“Do what you want.”

“Tell me you love me. I might never hear it again. I’d hate to have only heard it twice.”

“I love you.” He cupped my cheek in his hand. “There. I love you, I love you, I love you. You’ve heard it. It’s the truth. And maybe I’ll regret it when you’re gone and maybe... well, anyway, there you go.”

“L’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs, et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie.” I sighed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Fat lot of good it does us. Fat lot of good anything’ll do us...”

“Hush, you.”

He hushed. For a long time we were both silent, watching each other in the low light. Words were insufficient. I knew a little of what I wanted to say, but...

“It’s almost morning. You... you probably need to get back to your base.”

“Probably.” I dressed quickly. We kissed, one last time. “The parting is temporary, cher.”

“You and I both know—“

“It will be a long time, but not forever. Eventually, they will forget. Eventually they will not be watching always. Eventually... eventually we will be on teams of nine again, and there will not be another spy, and...”

“Yeah. Eventually. ‘Til then.” He squeezed my shoulder.

“’Until then. A toi, pour toujours.” I returned the gesture, then slipped outside.

Outside, in the blind spot, in the dark, I found a few small stones and tied them in my handkerchief. With my face tilted up, I tossed the bundle into the air. My aim was true.

It would be enough to give me a black eye at least. It would be enough to sell my story.

I untied the knot in the handkerchief, spilling the pebbles back out onto the hard-packed desert floor. Then, on a whim, I knotted the handkerchief around the door handle of the camper and left it there.

 

\---/-/---

 

The room filled up slowly for the morning’s meeting. The other spies were there first, followed by the soldiers. The medics and heavies came next, followed closely by our Engineer and Pyro. The scouts and our usual sniper ran in next, practically mainlining caffeine and slightly surprised to see that they were not early after all.

Lastly, Stone trudged in between two groaning demomen. The demos were hung over, Stone clutching an entire pot of coffee and blinking away sleep. He’d had a long shift of keeping watch on the RED base, despite the lack of scheduled conflicts, and probably hadn’t had much sleep. Not that it is any excuse. I myself had perhaps a minute total, before I woke up with my face pressed against the shower wall.

“Holy dooley, your boyfriend hit you?” Stone looked me over.

“I would have been getting to that, if some people had been on time to the briefing.” I snapped. “He is not my boyfriend!”

“What-bloody-evs, mate, did he give you that black eye or not?” He pulled out a chair, unceremoniously dumping its previous occupant, a scout, to the floor.

“I have bad news. We will not be getting any more information passed to us. He has... reconsidered the arrangement.”

“He hit you?”

“Tsch. Serves you right for doing that faggy stuff.” The scout rested his folded arms on his knees. “Don’t you know that’s what happens? Guys don’t turn down a free blowjob, but they gotta beat you up afterwards, otherwise it’s, you know, gay.”

“Really? I was unaware. And which side of the equation are you accustomed to being on?” I shot him a withering look, and he got quiet fast, shrinking in on himself. “RED is still his employer, and while he feels no personal loyalty, he... he feels he can in no good conscience turn over any sensitive information. I would appreciate it if any further questions would avoid the topic of my eye.”

“Did you get anything else, then? Or did you have your big falling out first?”

“It is not a matter of ‘first’, it is a matter of ‘just’. I told you, there is no more information. There is no more inside man on the enemy’s side. There is no more relationship. Not that it was—Not that we were— I only mean, professionally... things are over.”

“Yeah, real professional.” Our usual sniper snorted.

“Well that’s the difference between them and us, innit? I mean, you or me, we’d never pass intel along to the enemy.” Stone nodded.

“Nah. Well, maybe. If they sent over a girl. Something stupid, though. Nothing useful. By the way, we never got anything particularly useful, did we? Oh, we know how many bloody soldiers they’ve got, that was real good. That’ll come in handy winning a war. It’ll only be different a week from now, won’t it, and then what are you gonna do? You gonna bend over and take it from their engineer next?”

“Hey, now! No need to get crude, fellas.”

“No. I consider the venture a failed experiment. I had hoped the lack of female companionship would prove useful, inasmuch as it would facilitate seduction. Clearly it works only to a point.”

“Hey, but what about what you said?” The other scout piped up. “I mean, what if we did get a girl in here? If we had a real girl, she could get anybody to talk, right?”

“Yeah, but we’re not gonna get a girl, genius!”

“Well...” Our medic gazed off into the distance. “Scout, your bone structure is fairly delicate... If you are volunteering for the task, I’m sure a few little surgical procedures could—“

“Whoa, wait, what? No, no, no, I’m not—Nobody’s having surgery, that’s—What?”

“Gentlemen, order, please.” I cleared my throat. “If I have learned anything from this, it is that we should stick to our old tactics. For the time being, anyway. We will steal their intelligence, as we always have. We will carry out our missions. We will wait, until we are able to learn more. And, those of us who are equipped to do so will see what else we might learn about the Announcer and her true motives. And perhaps, just perhaps, we can end this war once and for all.”

“That’s right, blow ‘em all to hell.” One of the soldiers nodded approvingly.

The other looked uneasy. “Well, now, I don’t know about that... end the war? If we did that, the war would be over...”

“Speaking of over, this meeting is over. Since my fellow spy was unable to bring anything useful to the table, I say we resume business as usual. Gentlemen.” He nodded to the room at large, once again moving me from my spot at the head of the room.

Stone lingered when everyone had filed out.

“Don’t ask about the eye.” I glared at him.

“Reckon I don’t even have to. You still love him?”

“Get out.”

“Figures.” He rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you worry about yourself?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I sighed. “It means get out of here and don’t bother me. It doesn’t even hurt much.”

He shrugged and sauntered out. It was true, almost. I barely noticed the swollen ache... I just remembered when my own Sniper’s lips had ghosted over the same spot, before I’d had to leave him.

 

\---/-/---

 

Jean and the other Spy found me that afternoon, both looking quite businesslike.

“Gentlemen?”

Jean nodded to me. “We had an idea.”

“I am all ears.”

“Have you snuck out to the RED base often?”

“A few times.” I nodded.

“Enough that you know your way around better than the rest of us?”

“It is practically the same as our own. But yes. I know a little of the, the routines people have there. How to avoid detection.”

“You may not be getting information passed to you, but suppose we did not wait for this mysterious—this suspect Announcer to order us to steal their intelligence? Suppose you infiltrate their base, while they suspect nothing? We know their numbers, but they do not know ours. If they see the two of us outside the base, talking, then they will think we have two spies, and they will think, neither of those spies is in our base right now! You can listen in on their conversations, rifle through their things. We could do this!”

We could... we could do this. Here I am, being handed an opportunity to sneak back in. Dangerous, yes, but they have practically gift-wrapped a chance to see my Sniper again. When weighed against love, danger is as nothing, after all.

No.

No, that is what got us into this mess.

I will have to be smarter. I cannot seek him out. My teammates will no doubt be doing all they can to keep an eye on me, if I run to him, they will know we are up to something. Headquarters will be contacted, our relationship reported.

It will not be like before, with the war-within-a-war they staged for our Soldier and RED’s Demoman, that extended to the whole of both classes. Those men were merely friends. If they—if that woman!— learns that we have kept up a love affair, it will not be a game from which we will miraculously respawn, they will have us both killed. Permanently.

“I will go.”

“Both our snipers will be watching your progress as well as they possibly can.” The other spy confirmed my suspicions. “Although, if you are caught... there may be little we can do.”

“I will not get caught.” I shook my head. “Between the improved cloaking technology and the disguise kit, it will be easy. No one will even suspect I was there. So long as you and Jean are out in plain sight of their own snipers.”

“Then we have a plan.”

“Oui.” I turned to go. “We have a plan.”


	7. Us and Them

My own Sniper was out on the roof of the RED fort, keeping watch on the space between. Beside him, a scout tossed a baseball into the air, catching it again, tossing, catching...

“You gonna join the poker game this time?”

“Maybe. Might still be on duty. Everyone’s jumpier than usual, so we’re keeping watch on No Man’s Land there. Now that’s bloody weird...”

“What?”

“Look down there.”

“What, at the spies? They aren’t even doing anything.” The boy said dismissively.

“You ever seen spies—theirs or ours—just not-doing-anything? Especially out in the open. Neither one of them is— ah...”

“Neither one of them is what?”

“Nothing. I... You know what, it’s just the jumpiness, is all. Think they’re talking about movies.”

“Can you read lips? That’s pretty cool. I haven’t seen a movie in a long time! The last movie I saw was, like, two years ago. I mean, not counting stuff that comes on TV. It was Batman. Did you see it? Like, all the bad guys team up—well, all the really good bad guys. It’s the Joker and the Riddler and the Penguin and Catwoman, except she’s not the regular Catwoman. So it’s just the good bad guys, like, King Tut’s not in it or nothing—King Tut is this guy who’s like a teacher or something and he gets hit on the head and thinks he’s the king of Egypt or something, and he steals stuff, it’s kinda lame I guess, but anyway, the movie is like the show pretty much, but like I said, there are four bad guys instead of just one, and there’s an exploding shark in it! And it’s like, whoa! A shark that’s also a bomb? And you think—“

“Could you possibly bother somebody else? I am kind of trying to do a job, here.”

“Oh. Right. Anyway, that’s the last movie I saw. Bet spies don’t go and see Batman, though. They probably go see snooty French movies, huh?”

“Probably.” He reached out behind him, lightning quick, catching the scout’s ball. “Now. You’ve got two choices; I give this back, and you run along and play someplace else, or you keep talking at me, and I pitch it off the roof.”

“... Do you think you could hit one of those spies with it if you did? ‘Cause man, I would love to see that! Wait, no, it’s okay, I’ll leave!”

“You should go, you know.” He muttered, the scout already long gone.

I went. Stone and the other BLU sniper could still see me here. If I lingered... if I tried to talk to him... they would know. Stone hasn’t told the other spy that my feelings are genuine, but I am not foolish enough to believe that he is on my side. He merely doesn’t care enough when it does not affect him.

I followed the scout, the most likely member of RED team to let secrets slip, or to ask questions of the others. I had hoped I might be that lucky, for once. He went outside, where I could watch and listen within full view of BLU’s snipers, but instead of finding someone else to talk to, he merely threw his ball against the wall. The constant thudding was almost as annoying as his voice. I slipped back in through the wide open doorway, grateful to whoever designed these buildings to not have doors.

They had a small rec room set up, with a window that perhaps I could be monitored through. Two of their three heavies were playing chess—well, I use the term ‘playing chess’ loosely, since after every two moves, they stopped playing chess and boxed for a round. The third sat with the two medics, watching. Waiting for his turn to pummel the winner, I suppose. A second RED sniper was sprawled out on a ratty couch with a cup of coffee and some toast, though he seemed to be asleep.

“Anyway, enough about me.” The slightly senior-looking medic was talking, though apparently it had been nothing of consequence. “Tell me, where did you go to medical school?”

“Ruprecht-Karls-Universitat Heidelberg. The New Campus, you know.”

“Oh, that was a very good school.”

“Yes, I... I suppose it was. That was such a long time ago, though, I barely remember.” He laughed a little, nervously, and I remembered the scene in the infirmary.

“Who did you intern under? Or do you barely remember that as well?”

The heavy sitting next to them frowned a little.

“I can’t say a bad word about him.” He shrugged, tone too light. “You know, a lot of the time, back then, doctors had to perform without sufficient anesthetic, because of war shortages, but one thing I will say for Josef, he did not even take that into consideration. I mean, he was an inspiration to all of us. Actually, it was at that time...”

There was more medical jargon after that, utterly useless, and I wandered away, ducking through an empty stretch of corridor and into a washroom to adopt the guise of a RED soldier and drop the cloak. If I couldn’t listen in on anything, perhaps I could get the scout to talk.

I passed through the rec room again, to see my Sniper waking the man on the couch to trade shifts. After a moment’s consideration, he took a bite of the abandoned piece of toast, though the other sniper had taken the coffee with him when he left. He paid no attention to me, scanning the room and, after a moment, dismissing everyone in it as unimportant.

Unfortunately, the dismissal was not mutual. One of the medics spotted the very visible bruise I had left on our last night together.

“What happened to you?”

“Huh?”

“You appear to have hurt yourself. Or... been... ah...”

The scout came scampering into the room, and looked between us all, likely mistaking my frantic stare for some sort of accusation.

“Oh, uh... actually, don’t know how I got that.” My Sniper rubbed his neck, though it was too late to hide the spot from notice.

“I know how you got that.” The scout laughed.

My options; kill him now, exposing myself to a roomful of heavies, or let him talk and... and what then?”

“Remember? You were telling me to quit bugging you yesterday, and I kinda accidentally hit you with my ball. And then you tried to chase me down with a huge freakin’ knife, but I was way too fast for you?”

“Oh. Yeah. Sounds familiar.” He nodded, relieved. “Still owe you for that, do I?”

“Well, it was an accident.”

“... I’m going to bed.”

I had to force myself, to not watch him go. Instead, I beckoned the scout out into the hallway with a quick nod of the head and a sharp barked ‘Private!’

“What’s up?” He trotted after me, and I led him to the spot outside where he had been playing ball.

“Report, Private.”

“Uh... Oh! Right. Moral hygiene. So, um, good news, ‘cause, I think the other side doesn’t have any. Oh, but we do! Yeah. Nobody around here does anything wrong. Well... I dunno, maybe the Pyro, it’s hard to tell with that guy. If he is a guy. But probably it’s fine.”

“You mean to tell me you’ve got nothing?!”

“I got one thing... um, you’re maybe not gonna like it.”

Okay. It’s okay. If he spills his guts, it is to me and not to the real RED soldier. “Just spit it out.”

“Okay, Demo paid Engie to build him a still, and he’s making booze. I mean, he’s always done that, but now he makes more of it faster. I didn’t know if that was morally not-hygienic.”

“Good job.”

He grinned, completely unaware of how stupidly relieved he looked not to have said anything he didn’t mean to.

I headed back inside, and nearly ran right into the last man I wanted to see.

“Ah! Good to see you! You know...” The RED Soldier leaned in conspiratorially, and I realized that they had a second soldier, that he assumed I was that second soldier. “You’re the only man here I can trust.”

“My thoughts exactly.” I nodded curtly. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know... nothing, yet. Maybe. But be ready, because I think something’s going on over there. And if we’re not careful, something might go on over here. You know what I mean?”

I didn’t. “I know exactly what you mean. Do we have a plan?”

“You know the plan.” He leaned back, regarding me from under the edge of his helmet.

“Of course I know the plan!” I shouted. “I want to know if you know the plan, mister, because if I asked you ‘do we have a plan’, and you said ‘no’, then I would be forced to beat you to death with your own leg that I ripped off your torso, because that would mean you were an enemy spy! Do you see where I’m coming from?”

“That... that makes so much SENSE!” He hit himself in the head with his shovel several times. This... this might actually go a ways towards explaining the brain damage soldiers seem to suffer from...

I headed off down the hallway before I had to engage in any more crazy talk with him. Then, behind me, I heard the sound of two Soldiers yelling at each other in confusion.

Merde.

I cloaked and ran for the sewers as the alarm sounded. Yes, yes, BLU spy in the base, I’m well aware...

I emerged in our own base, not a moment too soon for my tastes, to find everyone preparing to go on the defense.

“So much for not being caught.” The other spy wrinkled his nose.

“I wasn’t. Exactly. It is a long story. I think right now one of their soldiers is still bashing his teammate’s head in...”

“Later you can tell us what you’ve found. Right now... right now they are probably preparing to storm the base.”

Probably so. A shower and a change of clothes would have to wait.

 

\---/-/---

 

It was a little skirmish, and it died down quickly, with no one able to break past the other side’s defenses.

Afterwards, I joined both our snipers up on the parapets—such as the parapets were, anyway.

“We’re pretty much in a stalemate. They’re watching us watch them, and no one’s going anywhere ‘til we’re told.”

I approached Stone. “May I?”

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even have to let go of the gun, I just want to use your scope.”

“You’re not using my scope.”

“Please.” I ground the word out. It tasted bitter, practically painful, and it didn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.

“What you want to look over there for, anyway?” The other Sniper asked.

“Call it curiosity.”

“Weren’t you just over there?”

“Yes.” I sighed. No point in lying, our other spies aren’t sporting giant visible bruises which certain medics refused to heal... not that I am angry, mind. Well...

“Look.” Stone shifted slightly. “Do not touch. And if you don’t want to look at exactly what I’ve been keeping an eye on, then too bad, because everything’s staying like it is.”

“Is it—“

He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s one of theirs, that’s all I can tell you.”

I crouched down next to him, leaning in to look through the scope without taking the rifle from him. Across the way, he was watching my Sniper. With the scope on him, I could see my handkerchief in his hand. I blew out a sigh, leaning back and standing.

“That him?”

I hesitated. “Yes.”

Stone gave no reaction, merely went back to his post.

 

\---/-/---

 

Yet another meeting... I was beginning to tire of these. Still, if I could get through this, there was a chance at getting my life back. Someday. Maybe.

“There is not much I can tell you. One of their soldiers has some kind of plans of his own, but then again, he is completely insane, so I doubt those plans are particularly... well, good. He has deputized one of their scouts—maybe all of them, I don’t know—to enforce some sort of code of moral hygiene.” I let the disdain drip from the last few words.

“Moral hygiene.” Our Soldier nodded, rubbing his chin. “That’s a good idea, even if it did come from a crazy hippie. That could win us this war, you know. We just need to rout out all the immoral crap!”

“Yes, well, it doesn’t really work, does it? At least one of their medics is a closeted homosexual, their engineers have joined their demomen in the creation of bathtub liquors, their third heavy is an out-and-out psychopath, and it’s entirely possible that their Pyro is a woman.”

Actually, I wasn’t sure it wasn’t possible that our Pyro was a woman. Or two midgets in a suit. None of us had ever seen him take off his mask to eat, even. I’d even believe he was a robot, why not? We had the teleporters, the respawn... was a robot so ridiculous?

“Look, this is stupid!” I slammed an open palm down on the table. “Enforcing moral hygiene is useless when it can only lead to the persecution of team members we need if you ever want to win this pointless war!”

“WAR IS NOT POINTLESS!”

“Really?” If the table wasn’t between us, he would have been in my face, and so help me, I would have responded in kind. “Then what is the point?”

“The fate of the free world could be at stake! We are doing this for picket fences, and apple pie, and good old Mom! And for the sheer visceral pleasure of blowing a man up with a rocket launcher!”

“Well, enjoy your visceral pleasures, because that is all the closure I fear you will get from it! We are being played, and if anything, the RED team knows even less about it than we do! There is no intelligence!”

“The briefcases—“

“Yes. Yes, what is in the briefcases?” I turned to my fellow spies.

“We have never broken the code.”

“How is that? THEY USE THE SAME DAMNED CODE WE DO! Am I the only one who has ever noticed?”

“You—“ A twitch developed in the vicinity of the other spy’s right eye. “You are not supposed to look at our own intelligence!”

“Well I did. It was one of the first things I did when I returned from my ‘mission’. A mission I was never really on.”

“What were you doing, if you were not on this mission?”

I took a deep breath. “Deserting.”

The soldier launched himself across the table, and it was only by the swift intervention of five other people in the room that he did not reach me.

“That was how I met the RED Sniper. We were both fed up, with always fighting and getting nowhere, with the sheer insanity of it all. And if I might be perfectly frank, I was quite fed up with all of you. As long as you’re going to hate me anyway. The Announcer tracked us down. She is controlling both sides, and she is committed to playing us against each other, and I hoped I might find some clue as to why. She had a strike force with her. Not RED. Not BLU. These men were not... they were not like any of the classes on either team. Our memories were wiped, inexpertly, and we were returned. I had hoped... stupid of me, I know, but I had hoped that I could make the rest of you see reason. That I could interest anyone else here in getting to the bottom of things, in ending this.”

“Gentlemen.” The other spy cleared his throat. “I’m sure you all see what needs to be done.”

“We kill the deserter, is what needs to be done!”

“No. Don’t be stupid. We keep him under lock and key, and we contact headquarters, and we report this insubordination. They will deal with him.”

There was no point in fighting all of them. I let the team take me into custody. Stone and the spy held back in the meeting room, exchanging heated words that I could not make out.


	8. In the Jailhouse Now

I was mildly surprised when Stone visited me in my makeshift holding cell.

“This isn’t because we’re friends.” He said, before I could speak. “We’re not. I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you, and up until today, that wasn’t really your fault, just your profession.”

“And today? You are... sore? Over my old attempt at desertion.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t set well with me. I have a hard time imagining... I don’t know. But this is about more than you, this is about her. I don’t like this whole business. Personally, I don’t trust you. But I’m pretty good at spotting a lie, and you haven’t been lying. Well, not about the Announcer. And not about the intel. You been lying your ass off about your boyfriend.”

“Are you here to be helpful to someone, or are you just here to make me feel like crap? Because I have to say, if it’s the former, you are doing a spectacularly poor job, and if it is the latter, your presence is entirely unnecessary.”

“Little from column A.” He smiled. “Half-dozen of the other.”

“He didn’t give me the black eye.” I admitted. “I did it. Spy had to believe we were no longer involved.”

“... You call him ‘Spy’?”

“Unless I learn his name I do. I haven’t, yet. Some days I think he’s never even had one. You call him ‘Spy’.”

“Call all of you ‘Spy’. But I’m not one of you.” He pulled my disguise kit out of his vest pocket. “Although with this baby, be easy enough to fake it. I mean, it’s just skulking around lying, what you do, isn’t it?”

“There is a little more finesse involved than that. And unless you can duplicate the voice of any given member of the RED team, the disguises will do you little good. Where did you get that?”

“From your buddy Spy. Obviously you’re not allowed to keep it.”

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. It isn’t as though I could fool any of you with it, it doesn’t work that way.”

“Yeah. Think he’s just a sadist, really.” Stone tossed me one of my cigarettes. Which under the circumstances, really felt much more useful.

“He let you take it?”

“Well, I shoved him up against a wall and shouted him down a bit over what we oughta do with you, and he just sort of left your stuff behind. Probably kicking himself about now, if he’s noticed it’s gone.”

“So why are you here?”

He handed me a lighter. “Wondered if it’d be possible... for someone without your training to get past enemy lines with this little doovalacky.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The way I see it, now that you’re the bad guy ‘round here, there are exactly three people who are genuinely interested in figuring this mess out. You, me, and that bloke on the other side. Well, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“... So he never hit you?”

“No.”

“Did you crack onto him first, or the other way ‘round? Just out of curiosity.”

“Pardon?”

“Nevermind. Point is, if I ever want a chance at getting out of here, and I should’ve been out by now, then I got to talk to the one other man who’s interested in the same.”

“De merde, you can’t. Your voice would give you away.”

“Pyros don’t talk.”

“They only have one. The risk is too high.”

“A RED sniper, then.”

“And what if you talk to the wrong one? Did you think of that?”

“I figured I’d look for the miserable-looking bastard with the blue silk hanky.”

“... Oui. That might work.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I’m pretty decently observant.”

“Tell him—Non.”

“What?”

“Forget it.”

“Nah, I’ll pass along your message for ya. I mean, I’m stealing your stuff.”

“You can’t tell him what’s happened here. It’s too dangerous.”

“You think he’d try and get you out of here?”

“I think he loves me. Yes. That can’t happen. Tell him the codes are the same, for what that is worth, and that... that he can trust the RED scout after all. And that I—Tell him I—Just, let him know I’m all right.”

“You’re not all right, mate.” Stone’s eyebrows disappeared into the shadow cast by his hat. “You’re gonna be a lot less all right before too long, I’m afraid.”

“So lie to him! I... I wish there was something else, but...”

“I’ll tell him.” Stone nodded. “Thanks for the loan.”

“Yes. It doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it. Just make sure he gets out of this. As long as you plan on using him to help you escape, make sure... Even if you can never take her down, if you can escape from her, from all this... tell him I will meet him on the outside.”

“Yeah.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Sure.”

He tossed two more cigarettes my way, and then he took my watch and my disguise kit, and he was gone.

 

\---/-/---

 

“Wake up.” The toe of the other spy’s shoe tapped against the bottom of my foot, from the other side of the hastily-erected bars.

I had hoped the workmanship would be shoddy, but our Engineer did himself proud. I hadn’t been able to work my way free of the little cell.

“I’m awake.” I glared at the spy. “What do you want?”

“Be grateful. I am offering you a chance, mon ami. It doesn’t have to end badly for you. We can tell the soldiers and the rest, that you have been taken care of, and another spy sent to replace you. They cannot tell the difference.”

“Jean, though?”

“That boy will keep his mouth shut. He knows about loyalty. I need to know that you would not attempt another escape.”

“But you won’t. Why wouldn’t I tell you what you wanted to hear? Why would you ever believe me?”

“True.” He leaned against the bars. “I need to know that you do not plan to defect.”

“I never planned on defecting. Desertion, perhaps, but not defection.”

“Your sniper?”

“Is the same way. Desertion, not defection. We both want out.”

“I do not like the idea of handing you over to headquarters, knowing what we know, or at least what we suspect. Still, I have a duty to do. I have been with BLU for... for some time now. I wanted to think that it was worth doing, you see? That if we managed to best RED, the world would be better for it. For a long time I kept the conspiracies straight. Which were true, which were fiction, which were lunacy. Now? Who can say. The things I thought I knew... maybe we are all being played. But you cannot expect that to change things, war doesn’t work that way!”

“We could change how war works. How this war works. We could end this.”

“The others are not on board. There have been too many whispers. It all threatens to fall apart. And that... that is worse than continuing to fight in a pointless war in which no one dies. You are an acceptable sacrifice, because as long as this war continues, even if we are all the fools and playthings of some mysterious madwoman, no one stays dead.”

“The enemy does not stay dead, either. How can you win a war when the enemy never dies?”

He shook his head. “I can’t. None of us can. But my team is still alive. And... and I am working with—people that I care about.”

“Touching.” I sneered. “And this team is just one big happy war-torn family? Or do you mean Stone?”

“We knew each other before this war. Well, we had met.”

This surprised me. In the course of investigating all of my teammates, I thought I was well-read up on Stone’s past, but of course this Spy was a complete enigma.

“Yes.” He smiled ruefully. “And we were not allies. To put it mildly. To put it mildly... No, he was hired to kill me. I escaped. And... I wanted him. Of course I did! You understand that. After all, you—“

“They are not interchangeable.” I snapped.

“No. No, they are not. I think... he does not know, that it was me. To him, it could be any one of the spies, on either team. But I know that it was him. It’s the reason for the animosity. Towards the whole class. He is unaccustomed to losing his prey. I was surprised to find myself on the same team as the man who failed to kill me once before. Anyway... how did you do it? Seduce your Sniper, I mean.”

“I didn’t.”

He let out a soft curse on a long sigh. “Then it is hopeless. If it was a matter of saying the right thing, doing the right thing... I could at least try to duplicate your success. But if he approached you... Well, obviously, I have not been approached. Maybe he is exclusively heterosexual. Still, when I found out about you, I... I just hoped, I suppose. I am a fool.”

“We are all fools.”

“Probably. If you were not a fool, you wouldn’t be locked up now, would you? You can’t promise me your loyalty, can you?”

“I cannot.” I admitted. “But you already knew that.”

“I suspected. I... I will put off calling headquarters for a few days. In case you change your mind.”

“I am not sure if that is kindness or cruelty.”

“No.” He shook his head, the rueful little smile returning. “Neither am I.”

He left me alone again. A few more days, and what? There was no escape to be had, not if I looked at things realistically. Stone stuck his neck out a little to talk to me, to get what he needed, but he said himself we are not really friends. He wouldn’t stick his neck out so far to save me. Besides, I don’t know if I like the thought of owing him for so much... So I have a few days to stew in my little cell and think about everything that’s gone horribly, horribly wrong in my life.

And what do I expect from BLU? From the Announcer? Another reprogramming? Unlikely. The first did not go so well, from their perspective. A cigarette and a blindfold and her clipped voice saying ‘ready, aim, fire’? A short rope and a long fall? Some worse game, if such a thing exists?

To never see my lover again.

I don’t even know his name. I never told him mine. Even now he is being lied to, and... and there is nothing else I can do.

And now I have a few days to think about all that.


	9. Fish In the Jailhouse Tonight

Stone returned the next day, giving me my cigarette case. The cigarettes inside, however, were not mine.

Nothing in the case was mine.

The case... was not mine.

Outside, I heard the sound of a battle, a distant klaxon.

“What is going on?” I hissed.

“Sorry. Couldn’t do it after all.”

There was a shimmer of red smoke behind him, and before I had time to warn him about the enemy spy, my own Sniper appeared instead.

“Who ever heard of a spy being compelled to tell the truth all of a sudden?” He frowned at me.

“I repeat; what is going on?”

“Made my way over there. Found your boyfriend. Found a RED spy. Killed a RED spy. Rifled through a RED spy’s pockets. Stole from a RED spy.” Stone ticked the steps off on his fingers. “Let me know if you’ve caught up to where we are now.”

“Only way to sneak me onto your base.” He kissed me through the bars. “Don’t suppose there’s a key anywhere?”

“One of our spies keeps it on him. The Engineer might have a copy, he was the one who threw the whole thing together. It’s not like they have one hanging on a hook on the wall.”

“Damn. I can’t stay here... I can’t... What are we going to do?”

“We were going to lie to you.” I glared at Stone.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” My Sniper growled. “And I was not gonna leave without you. You shoulda known I wouldn’t do that.”

“Maybe. I hoped you might.”

“Well, I’m not any better at self-preservation than you are.”

“I think you’re both nuts.” Stone rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, don’t think we really need the knock right this second.”

“You need to get out of here before the lot of us get caught. And I got to get up top and shooting. And I guess you,” He looked at me. “Well, for now I guess you’re stuck.”

“We’ll get you out.” One more kiss between the bars. “I gotta run.”

“I know.” I squeezed his hand briefly. “I don’t know when—“

“Doesn’t matter. I’m getting you out of here. Or, he will. And then you and me, we’re getting out this time. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I know it has to happen.”

There was another puff of red smoke, and he was gone.

Stone turned to leave as well, then paused. “So... he does love you.”

“Yes. I told you.”

“Still think it’s a bit weird.”

“Very. I wouldn’t change it, I don’t think.”

He shook his head. “Well. Duty calls.”

I assumed it would be a long wait, after he left, before I would see anyone. The fighting would go on for... well, for as long as it went on. Afterwards there might be a briefing of sorts, or a strategy session for the next fight. Even if there wasn’t, Stone could only visit so often without rousing suspicion, and it was not so long ago that the Spy had given me ‘time to think’, so he would not be back for a while. After his initial check on the structural integrity of the cell, the Engineer hadn’t seen fit to return, a few iron bars hardly interesting to the kind of man who builds teleporters. No one else had been down even once, nor did I expect them to be.

Of course, that was just counting my own team.

I was deep enough in our base that I did not expect any of the RED team to stumble upon me—I wasn’t with our intelligence, after all. But stumble upon me one did, a lost-looking Medic.

He stared at me for a moment, forgetting his own predicament. “What are you doing in a cage, in your own base?”

“Not deserting.” I shrugged. Ah yes. I knew which one he was. “And what are you doing, so far away from your little friends? Or should I say, from your big friend?”

“... I don’t have to explain myself to you.” He puffed himself up.

I laughed. “No. I suppose you do not. I’m just the man in the cage, after all. Still, I would not want to trade places with you... This is a bad place to be, Docteur. Though, I suppose you know all about bad places to be. You know, I heard before the war, Berlin had a very... permissive nightclub scene.”

“I wouldn’t know. I never even left Wurttemberg—ah, Baden-Wurttemberg until the war had been going on for two years.”

“Oh? Near Alsace, correct?”

“On the border.” He nodded, wary.

“And how permissive were things in Baden-Wurttemberg? Not that it mattered, really, I mean, then the war began and you couldn’t tell anyone. Even today, your team doesn’t know about you. Not the truth. But I know.”

“Are you threatening me? You are in a cage!”

“And you are a filthy degenerate.” I mustered every ounce of disdain that I could, and I fought against the instinct to move away from the bars when he lunged towards me with the bonesaw.

 

\---/-/---

 

I woke up in the resupply room, the slight hangover-like headache of respawn already fading.

“You,” I told myself proudly. “Are a magnificent bastard!”

Spy ran in, grabbing a box of bullets from the locker, and doing a double-take as he realized I was not Jean.

“What are you doing here?” He patted down his pockets, securing the key.

“There is a blood-spattered medic wandering around lost in the vicinity of my cage.” I said coolly. “You may want to kill him. Either way... I suggest you do as you once offered. Tell the others I have been replaced. Dealt with. No one needs to be the wiser.”

“Why would I—“

“Because when you thought you had the upper hand, you told me more than you should have.” I smiled, tight and cold. Ah, that felt right... And apparently, it is my day for sexual blackmail. “You could put me back in the cage, but you should know, Stone comes in occasionally for information. And now... the information I have...”

“Touche... Very well. You were removed and replaced, during the battle. You will keep my secret and I will keep yours. But... No. No time. Details we can iron out later.”

He jogged out to rejoin the fray. My watch and cigarette case still being in the possession of Stone, I stayed in the resupply room until the battle was over, pretending to be waking up anew whenever someone entered or appeared.


	10. Sugar, We're Going Down

The post-battle briefing went well, inasmuch as the spy gave the story we had agreed upon, and everyone accepted it as fact.

It went less than well, in that Stone accepted it as well and it was hard to track him down afterwards to get my things back.

“It’s me, you idiot.” I finally caught him up on the roof. “I want my disguise kit. And my watch.”

“How’d you get away with it?” He handed them over. “Figure it must be, ‘cause no one else knows I’ve got these. Besides... even without the black eye, you look a little... dunno. Just a little like yourself, and not like the others. Takes a close look to tell.”

“I got away with it the way any good spy would. Blackmail.”

“You’re blackmailing the other spies?” He laughed.

“One of them. Of course, if I told you why and how, he would have me killed. Permanently, I mean.”

“What happened to the black eye, anyway? You actually get a medic to fix it?”

“... In a manner of speaking.”

“How good is the information you got on the other Spy, anyway?”

“Good enough.”

“Good enough to get his help? Because three of us, split over both sides, we’re not getting anything. And I want to get out of here.”

“... Yes. You do want to get out of here. You... you want very much to... I think yes. I think I can convince him to help us. We may never get the others. The team as a whole would be fractured over this, and some of them we could not trust, because this is a big deal, but I think I can get him on our side. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.” He shrugged. “I’m just looking for anything I can get.”

Stone wandered off a short distance and set himself up with a view of the RED base, and I headed back down, running into our Pyro on the staircase and only just managing not to jump, or squeak, or anything undignified. An enemy heavy I can face with a bon mot and a wry smile, but even our own pyros just...

“Rsh hrr rnhrwuh rh cn hurrh?”

“I have no idea what you just said to me. Do you mind letting me through? I only recently arrived, and I’m trying to familiarize myself with the base.”

“Yrh dn’n jsh hrrhrrv. Yrh hur srm sprhh’s brfrhh. Wrrnr mrrdrh.”

“What? Wait... you can tell us apart?”

“Rrh crn trhl llrh sprs rprrh.”

“Really? I thought only we could...”

Well, of course as a spy myself, I can tell everyone apart—except the Pyros, funnily enough... but scouts, soldiers, engineers, demos... they all seem to view other classes as basically interchangeable. Stone picked up the ability to tell a couple of us apart, but only after spending some time contemplating treason with me, and fighting with one of the others. And my Sniper knows me... usually before he sees me, which I am willing to chalk up to strange bushman powers. I never really figured out if the medics and heavies are able to tell each other apart innately, or if like Stone there is a learned familiarity between pairs, or if it is merely coincidence that leads certain pairs to team up most frequently.

“F whhr jsh brhrn mhssh wrf hhr... crn rh br hrn yrh trrhm?”

“Can... can you be on my team?” I laughed derisively.

“M nur rh bhr ghr!”

“You set me on fire!”

“Rrh wrsh rrh rhksrhrn!”

“Accident? You were using a flamethrower! You shouted ‘die, monster!’!”

“Rrh thrr yrh wrh rrh rnrmrrh.” He hung his head.

“And what do you bring to the party, exactly? Don’t say ‘spycheck’. I will gut you if you say ‘spycheck’. This is about information gathering and effective rhetoric, neither of which is your particular strong suit.”

“Prrhs?”

“No. It was a mistake trying to include people on this. It will never work that way. No.”

“Rrh wrnn trhll rnrhhn! Rrl br rrh srkhrr!”

“Ah... you—Okay. Look, why would you even want to be a part of this? What does it matter to you who’s in charge, you just like to burn things.”

“Rrhsh drffrn... Fuhrrsh drffrn.”

“What do you mean the fire is different? It didn’t seem different when you were spraying it on me!”

“Burh rrh rsh! Rn rsh nuhr... rsh nuhr hurkrh... rsh nuhr rhrr.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Rrh wrnrhh grh.”

“If I say yes, will you... will you leave me alone until I ask for you? If there’s something you can do, I promise I’ll let you know. If there’s a chance of getting out of this, I’ll let you know. Is that all right? Can I go now?”

He nodded and let me pass. I felt a little shaky. The idea of even that mumbling simpleton being aware of how wrong things were... well, it had to prove something. Maybe only that this particular Pyro wasn’t as dimwitted as I had previously assumed. Or maybe that I am vindicated in my beliefs that this is something wrong, something we need to get away from.

And what was that? The fire was different? They couldn’t make fire different. Did he mean it wasn’t fun anymore? That was creepy all on its own, of course, but they’re all kind of creepy.

 

\---/-/---

 

“Do you want my advice?”

The other Spy looked up at me. “How about a word of advice to you? You should have waited.”

“Waited?”

“For your little gambit.” He waved one hand vaguely. “Tomorrow two more spies arrive. You could have pretended to come in with them. As it is, you are suspiciously early. Two more spies, and some more of everything else. Five all told, of every class. The next battle will be a big one. I assume RED will try to match us, though I do not know if the symmetry is important to them. They may be less balanced.”

“Do you want my advice about Stone?”

He went still for a moment and adopted a look of forced nonchalance. “If you like.”

“He wants out, of all of this. Whatever game the Announcer is playing. If you want to be in his good graces, you might consider using whatever pull you may have to look into it.”

“I hope for your sake the Engineer’s machines are still functioning to keep this room blocked. If they are not, you have just given her an excellent reason to remove you. And I refuse to take any part in that sort of foolishness.” He said coldly, but he met my gaze with a hard desperation that spoke different.

 

\---/-/---

 

The regularly scheduled conflicts were back on their regular schedule, this time with even more people sent in, and I managed to find my Sniper during the latest outbreak of war.

“You’re free!” He dropped his gun, pulled me into a blind spot. “How’d you get free?”

“The last battle. Respawn.”

“How’d you get killed?” His brow furrowed.

“It isn’t important.” I kissed him. “Do you still have that stolen watch?”

“Yeah... I have it. Poor bastard had to send off for a new one, he figures it was smashed or something.”

“Good. Turn it on and follow me.”

“One problem—if we’re both cloaking, neither one of us is gonna be able to see the other.”

“Hold onto my arm and try not to try to kill anyone, and don’t let anything hit you.” I kissed him again, then disappeared. Not getting hit would be harder, now that both sides had increased in size yet again. Harder, but doable.

We made our way through the sewer lines, up into BLU’s base, to my bedroom. The showers would have been nice, but too risky. The sewers were not too deep, and at least in my room I had a basin and some soap. It was better than nothing.

I barricaded the door with my armoire and started stripping. “Well?”

“This really the time?”

“Dammit,” I growled, grabbing the front of his shirt and yanking him into a hard kiss that had our teeth knocking together. “I am far too frustrated in every possible meaning of the word to worry about whether or not now is the time. No one will even notice we are gone. I almost lost everything, again, and now all I want...”

“Siddown.” He gave me a little shove towards the bed and grabbed the basin from its console, along with the soap and handtowel. “Gonna guess you’re the type to get upset over something like sewer water on your fancy bedsheets.”

“My bedsheets are very fancy.” I defended.

He just laughed and knelt between my knees, washing away the clinging aura of refuse that tended to accumulate on the legs of anyone who waded through the sewers.

“You have the girliest soap.” He snorted, kissing the back of one knee.

“It’s what they had... anyway, that’s just—here, and—“

“Mm-hm?” He looked up at me, his lips trailing up my thigh.

“Maybe it is not the most masculine soap I have ever owned.”

“Oh.” He nuzzled a spot mere centimeters from where I wanted his attention. His tongue did something very interesting, and stopped doing it too soon.

“All right, all right, it’s pretty bad. Happy?”

“... Yeah.”

He struggled out of his own things, gave himself a cursory washing up, and joined me on the bed, his hand tracing the path his mouth had been making up my thigh, and his lips moving down from my chest to meet that hand somewhere in the middle, and then he was stroking me, slow, too slow, his lips and tongue playing over the head of my cock.

I squeezed his shoulder, closed my eyes. Watching him at work on me was too... too much, and I wouldn’t last if I did.

His mouth pulled off me, a slow spit-slick slide, and I did open my eyes, to see him smirking up at me.

“Where’s your fancy French dirty-talk?”

“Where’s your mouth on my cock?” I scowled.

“I miss it when you don’t do it.” He shrugged, still looking far too smug.

“That’s funny, so do I, about your mouth. On my cock. Where it isn’t.” I growled.

“Dunno, maybe I need some encouragement.”

“You wouldn’t know the difference between ‘you have a fantastic body’ and ‘don’t forget to pick up the groceries’.”

“Fine. Talk about groceries for all I care.” He grinned.

“You are serious...”

“I like hearin’ ya.”

“Mon grand...” I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to nudge him subtly back towards where he had just been. “T’a couper la soufflé, a la fin...”

He slid his mouth along the underside of my cock, before taking me in and humming softly.

“... je t’adore. A tel enseigne que je branler dans le manche... Tu est trop costaud, bon... je bande pour toi... If I stop, are you going to stop?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Connard.”

“Mm-hm.”

“Baise-moi comme un grande folle, carrer dans l’oignon... I really should... oh... complain that I’m wasting my best material on you...”

He paused long enough to grin at me in a very predatory manner. “It’s not wasted.”

I swallowed. “Oh. Ah...”

He started back in on me, slower for a moment before deep-throating me suddenly.

“Foutre!” I gasped, head hitting the pillow. “Ah...”

“Mm?” And the communication-by-humming made it worse. Well, better. That sort of odd place between the two, where everything starts to white out and self-control is in dangerous short supply.

“Tu...” I gasped, struggled.

“Mm-hm...”

“Avalons la fumee...”

I came before he had the chance to do any more of the communicative humming, taking him a bit by surprise—though really, after all the teasing, there was a sort of vicious satisfaction in that.

He coughed a little, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Stuff’s in my van... uh, you know, for the...”

“That’s fine.” I shook my head, sliding around him and tugging at his hips until our positions were reversed. “I’d rather have this...”

I decided against drawing it out. We probably didn’t have that much time, really... besides, I felt like being just a little wanton, like breaking under the cool, professional veneer and making him scream—forgetting for the moment that any loud and obviously sexual noise was a bad idea. The point was I wanted it. The point was I wanted to make him crazy, and fast.

I revel in it a little. Not just the end result of making him crazy, but the fun of it. The heat and weight and feel of him in my mouth, his grip tightening and slacking on my shoulder or the back of my head, when he was too far gone for the gentler encouragement of a hand brushing my cheek. Hearing his breathing go ragged, and that little muscle in his stomach that jumped and twitched under my hand. Leaving his hard-on unattended just long enough to whorl my tongue through the sparse dark hairs at the top of his thigh and to suck briefly at his balls, and then I wrapped my hand around his shaft and pumped until he came on me.

He still doesn’t scream, a relief and a disappointment both, but he does swear softly under his breath, his voice shaky, as he watches me wipe up his come with one thumb and lick it off the leather.

“You naughty thing.” He grinned and tugged me forward into a kiss.

“You know you love it.”

“Sounds like the fighting’s stopped.”

“Putain! I thought the round would last longer... we should have been quicker... we should have... I don’t even want you to go. They are probably missing you, over on your side.”

“Not really. Don’t always show up to those post-mission briefings.” He shrugged, getting dressed hastily.

Just then a massive explosion sounded outside.

“Well, good news.” He blinked. “Not over after all.”

“Be safe.” I kissed him again.

We should have parted there, but instead we found ourselves walking through the largely-deserted base together as we headed in the direction of the fray. Here and there there were bodies, though not too many. Just outside there were more.

Too many more.

“Wait.” I grabbed his wrist. “This is not right.”

“New guys, I imagine.” He shrugged. “What?”

“Come with me.”

He shrugged and followed me back in through the base, to the resupply room. No one was coming out.

We waited.

Still no one came out.

“... Damn.”


End file.
